


Reasons we lie

by BlueRam



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Break Up, M/M, No Bashing, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), request, short fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-06-25 15:57:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15644067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueRam/pseuds/BlueRam
Summary: “You love me, yeah, I know,” it sounded so self-depreciating that Steve actually flinched.





	Reasons we lie

“You have to understand! I didn’t intend to make promises I couldn’t keep! _Fuck_ , no promises should have been made, to begin with” No one could mistake Tony’s pacing for anything more than raw tension and anger. Whether to be anger at himself, anger for the man that sat in front of him, hands folded in his lap, head bowed, or anger at their entire situation.

Tony grit his teeth, almost wishing that he was too much a coward to face what could have possibly been the worst mistake of his life. Unfortunately, even now, he stood tall in the face of adversary.

“Steve, it’s not that I—”

“You still can’t trust me,” Steve muttered, clenching his fist tight before releasing a soft sigh. If he could he would have stared into Tony’s warm brown eyes, speckled with just a touch of gold in the morning light. As it was he felt a strange mix of righteous and shame. He still believed he was right to do what he did.

There was no changing that. Bucky was—Bucky was in danger and how could he trust the current system to actually take care of his friend, the other part of him that had been so cruelly taken away and tortured. Forced into a mould and construct that he couldn’t understand. Shouldn’t have to understand.

Maybe, maybe he should have told Tony about his parents. About what truly happened that night in the fated car accident? Probably he should have helped relieved Tony’s guilt and self-hatred for the happenings of that night and relieve some of the ill feelings he had of his own father. Blaming Howard Stark as much as himself for the death of his mother.

Maybe…but there wasn’t any use dwelling on maybes. What he and Tony shared had been broken and as much as they tried to sweep it under the rug and start again it just wasn’t—

With a shuddering breath, Steve finally looked up, itching forward in his seat as if to stand.

“Just tell me this one thing, is there someone else?” The silence buried its’s claws in Steve’s chest. Tearing at the fragile cords that held his beating heart together. Was this what a heart attack felt like? A searing pain that took root within him and raced through his veins like molten lava. Burned any hope and positive emotion that could possibly survive among torment.

Tony frowned, ignoring that little voice in the back of his head that willed him to back down. To cave to Steve’s wants. To shield Steve from the pain by lying to his face. To retract everything he had ever said just for Steve’s comfort over his own.

He was, ok maybe not passed that, but he was on the fast track of finally considering what Tony Stark needed.

“There should be,” Tony whispered, finally turning away from Steve to stare out at the city below. The fact remained, there was too much between the two for their relationship to remain healthy. They both refused to speak about their issues.  They buried too much and slapped band-aids over festering wounds.

As long as they chose to ignore the elephant in the room, there would be no true happiness for any of them.

Tony barely held back the flinch when Steve moved to stand beside him. The sleeve of his stupid vintage shirts brushing against the exposed skin of his arm.

“I don’t want there to be anyone else. I—you were one of the best things that could have ever happened to me.” Steve voice trembled before he cleared his throat and straightened his shoulders. He opened his mouth as if in preparation for a speech that could salvage what was broken between the two.

“It’s no use, spangles. It’s done, we’re…it’s done. I want there to be someone else. I met someone else and for the first time…I felt free,” Tony’s smile was entirely sad and heartbreaking.

“Can you imagine that? Tony Stark, actually free?” Tony sighed, forehead thumping against the crystal clear glass of the tower.

“I can’t live my life pretending that what you did didn’t destroy me. I can’t live with the fact that you seemingly chose Bucky over me and it’s stupid because he’s your friend that shouldn’t matter! But, hey, geniuses can be irrational too and that’s ok!” Brown eyes flickered to the crumbling blond beside him.

“ _He_ said that to me,” Tony muttered, glass fogging for every breath he took, the scenery bellow barely registering.

“Tony—” Steve hesitated, wanting to desperately reach out and pull Tony close. Hold him to his chest, tuck his head in the crook of his neck and never let go.

“You love me, yeah, I know,” it sounded so self-depreciating that Steve actually flinched.

What had they both become?

“So that’s it. We’re—we’re done and I don’t mean to be cruel, but I would appreciate if after this—just give me some space to breathe. To finally _live_!” it was almost a plea, one that only served to hammer the last nail in the coffin.

“Let me go, Steve, let me go like I let you go years ago in Siberia.”

There was nothing else to do. Steve realized that he had completely lost Tony Stark and perhaps if he had realized what he had before they wouldn’t be here. He did the one thing he could offer Tony. He lied. He lied that he would give up on them, that he would let him go.

He lied that he wouldn’t’ go to bed and wake each day with Tony on his mind. He lied that he would stop loving the genius and the genius himself would force himself to stop loving him.

He lied because maybe for a few seconds that lie would bring Tony Stark peace.

 

 

 


End file.
